When curly hair men start taking care of their curls, the magic happens. Hot chicks flock to them and today, a reader asks Rogelio for dating advice to seduce a woman on the first date!
I am sending you a question because I need a second opinion and I really like your advice on everything really. You have very interesting points and I would like to know what you think of this. I have followed your advice of doing something about my curls and recently went for the metro mullet you came up with. My hair is very similar to Ronaldo so I have followed your directions and currently have this hairstyle.
I am getting now much more female attention as I have also started to look after my body (lost 15lbs since December, big fan of your fitness advice man) and yesterday I asked a hot girl out. I am becoming more confident and I would not have asked this particular girl in the past and before I started doing something about my looks. We are going out on a date on Saturday so I would be forever in debt if you could give me some tips or advice to what to do to impress her. As you can see, I am not the most confident guy when it comes to dating so any help would be great.
Thanks dude and keep doing what you are doing :)
Sid, Texas (USA)
Good day Sid!
I am glad to hear that you have taken the step to do something about your curly hair. As expected, you now get more women’s attention because you started taking care of your mane. Congratulations and welcome to our ranks!
Ok, so now you have a hottie wanting to get to know you and interested in you. Awesome, but you are approaching the whole courting thing wrong.
Impress her? What the? Is she going to give you a million bucks and a Ferrari or what? You don’t approach a date to impress the lady, rather, you do things right and impressing her comes as a consequence, not as the act itself. I am sure that doing the whole magic trick of making the dining table disappear would do wonders to impress her but if your game is crap, such an awesome trick will not do much to seal the deal.
Allright, so how do you then ultimately impress her, you may ask. Well, you do so by being yourself. Listen curly brother, women can smell fake dudes from a mile away. You may be able to fake some stuff if the lady is drunk and you are just at a party where perceptions can be skewed temporarily but when the playing field is leveled (i.e on a date), you will not fool her. Likewise, trying to pull shenanigans is not a long term solution so do you really want to be having to fake certain things of your persona everytime you see her? Of course not.
Women love confidence because it screams alpha. You have probably read about alpha and beta men, it is mostly all a bunch of balloney and pop science crap spouted by guys who refer to themselves in 3rd person as stallions. However, there is some truth to being alpha and thus confident because confidence is a winner to attracting women. I can tell you that there is some biological and evolutionary basis for all of this as females subsconsciously seek protection and health by teaming up with the right male, thus exuding confidence is a way for you, as a man, to advertise your ability to satisfy this requirement.
Ok, so now that we have confidence and the whole being ourselves, the next step is putting it all together.
First, start with your mane. Style it like she has you used to. Don’t innovate or try to make it look like you put in a lot of effort into it. She will think you are just trying too hard. Go with your curly hair as usual. Of course, make sure it is looking the part, don’t just hop out of bed and leave the curly beast to do whatever it wants.
Second is grooming. Unless you arranged the date when you had a beard, don’t turn up with one or stubble. Shave, dude. Most women dislike facial hair, especially if you are sporting facial hair in a culinary setting (e.g a dinner date). Facial hair is awesome for food bits and other delicious crap to stick to it. Shave and look nice and neat. About fashion style or clothing, just make sure your clothes are clean and, please, do not be color blind. Your belt should always match the color of your shoes and you should always wear clothes that match in tone, regardless of color. Don’t overdress and dress according to the setting, that is, don’t wear a suit if you are going ice skating.
Eating with a beard requires mastery. Do not grow one if you’re a newbie and you will be eating in public anytime soon!
Third, mannerisms. I want you to be yourself but I also want you to smile. Smiling has been proven in research to make one more approachable and to enhance the communication flow (yeah, they pay people to research this sort stuff). Women love confident guys who smile because manliness plus friendliness gets them all funky in that special place. I also want you to look at her in the eyes when she talks, don’t distract yourself with random crap when she talks, even if she doesn’t reciprocate looking at you in the eyes. Do not, and I mean it, do not eye or ogle other women when you talk or listen to her. I find it amazing how guys in dates will let their eyes roll to the next set of boobs that is around. You want to show her that she is your only center of attention. Oh, and please, do no stare at her in the boobs (I know you will look at times, just make it discreet, dude).
Fourth and last, be a gentleman. No, I am not referring to pulling the chair from the table so she can sit or opening the door of the car for her. Leave all that corny crap for all those silly dating tutorials that seem to populate the internet these days.
Being a gentleman refers to giving her respect while showing that you are a man of principles. A gentleman respects all individuals equally and acts fair and just. A gentleman is a man of principles and morals. A gentleman is a genuine guy who doesn’t follow populist trends. A gentleman has humility and determination. Lead the conversation, be creative (think of an alternative dating scenario instead of, say, a restaurant), have her convince herself that you are the man she needs, instead of you having to convince her.
This is why I always advice guys to be themselves. She has obviously seen the confidence in you as otherwise she would not have accepted to date you. Trust me in that not every woman is suitable for every man and not every man is suited for every woman. There will be many women who are particularly suited to you and viceversa so the only way of finding out is by being yourself on a date and discovering if things do match. After all, that is the whole point of dating!
Makes us proud.
All the best.